What if your teenager is more capable than they realise?
Teenagers today are growing up in a world full of visibility, comparison and pressure to have things figured out. For many parents, home can begin to feel strangely quiet.
The child who once sat downstairs watching Saturday Night Takeaway or Strictly with you now eats in their bedroom. Headphones permanently on. One-word answers. A shrug when you ask how school was. Hours spent gaming or scrolling. Rarely bringing friends home. Easily embarrassed. Easily irritated. Difficult to read.
For some parents, it can feel like they’ve slowly lost their child to the closed bedroom door years of teenage life. Yet some teen behaviour is also rooted in worrry.
Worry that they lack confidence.
Worry that they won’t find their people.
Worry that they’re drifting through school unnoticed.
Worry that they’ll struggle when the time comes for interviews, work or adulthood.
The reassuring thing is that much of this behaviour is more common than many parents realise. NHS research advises parents not to assume teenagers are simply being difficult or disinterested, and to be available and open to communication, even when conversations feel strained or limited.
At the same time, today’s teenagers are growing up in an environment adults never experienced themselves. Social media, online gaming, influencer culture and constant digital connection mean many young people feel permanently observed, compared and expected to present a version of themselves online. It is an always-on world that often rewards confidence, popularity and over-sharing, even for teenagers still figuring out who they are.
For quieter teenagers especially, that pressure can lead to withdrawal rather than participation.
Schools are facing similar challenges too. Many secondary schools across the UK increasingly struggle to secure meaningful work experience placements and employer opportunities for students, particularly at Key Stage 4.
In response, the updated Gatsby Benchmarks for careers guidance now place greater emphasis on “meaningful and varied encounters and experiences” with employers and workplaces. Benchmark 5 states that “Every year, from the age of 11, pupils should participate in at least one meaningful encounter with an employer.”
Many young people need more than careers leaflets and assemblies. They need opportunities to communicate, participate, ask questions and recognise where their own strengths might fit within the wider world.
That’s why the Get In workshop was created.
Delivered in secondary schools and community settings, the Get In workshop helps young people identify strengths hidden inside everyday interests, build confidence communicating who they are and better understand the opportunities available to them after education.
The goal is not to force teenagers to become louder versions of themselves.
It’s to help them feel more comfortable contributing to conversations, advocating for the things they enjoy and developing the confidence to communicate beyond their immediate friendship groups or family environments.
Teenagers benefit enormously from regular conversations with trusted adults outside of home and school life, whether that’s workshop leaders, employers, youth workers, coaches or mentors.
Exposure to different communication styles, expectations and experiences can play a powerful role in helping young people build confidence, language skills and a better understanding of the wider world around them.
Ultimately, for many parents it’s about seeing small signs of independence and self-belief begin to grow.
Feeling confident enough to ask for help instead of staying quiet. Ordering their own food in a restaurant instead of relying on parents to speak for them. Asking a question at an open evening. Starting a conversation with a new classmate at college or work experience. Using their initiative to research opportunities, courses, jobs or experiences connected to things they genuinely enjoy.
That’s one of the reasons communication and participation sit at the heart of the Get In workshop. Through conversation, group discussion and interactive exercises, students are encouraged to hear their own voices, contribute ideas and build confidence using them.
For many teenagers, simply becoming more comfortable speaking, asking questions and expressing themselves in unfamiliar environments can become an important first step towards greater confidence beyond school too.
